In this episode of Suburban Burnout, Megan and Laura discuss the driving force behind starting the podcast- expectations of perfectionism in parenting and beyond. Whether it is internal drivers, societal pressures, or social media contributing to our never-ending feeling of inadequacy, we need to turn our focus to combatting its toxic effects.
Perfectionism, as defined by the American Psychological Association, is the tendency to demand of others or oneself a high or flawless level of performance in excess of what is required by the situation. It's the constant pressure we put on ourselves to have it all together, perfectly wrapped up like a shiny gift.
Book Recommendations
Roots of Perfectionism
What fuels the desire for perfection? It can stem from various sources, such as childhood experiences, personality traits often labeled as "Type A," or even conditions like OCD. Perfectionism isn't inherently negative; it can serve as a powerful motivator, pushing us to reach higher standards in parenting, home management, or our professional lives. However, when it starts affecting our relationships and becomes an unrealistic standard for ourselves and others, it's time to dig deeper.
Reassessing Perfectionism
Ask yourself, "What's truly necessary to accomplish the task at hand?" If your pursuit of perfection is causing stress or affecting your relationships, consider retraining your mindset. Embrace the idea that perfectionism has its place. You can focus on maintaining certain areas of your life to your satisfaction, like your home, while allowing room for spontaneity and chaos in other spaces. At work, it's crucial to understand that expecting your co-workers to meet your standards of perfection might not be attainable. The goal is not to isolate yourself from loved ones or colleagues.
Perfectionism vs. Improvement
When perfectionism sets your standards, it often leads to unrealistic expectations. Dr. Becky, a clinical psychologist and founder of Good Inside, offers valuable insight: "If I look for perfect, I will miss out on growth." This perspective underscores the idea that true perfection is unattainable, and by fixating on it, you miss the opportunity to learn and grow from your mistakes.
Encouraging Growth & Effort
Research has shown that praising outcomes, like "being smart," can lead children to fixate on performance, nurturing a fixed mindset that shies away from taking risks due to fear of failure. In contrast, children praised for their efforts tend to develop a growth mindset. They're more inclined to try harder and persevere when faced with challenges. As parents, we can encourage our children to strive for improvement without stifling their creativity or instilling a fear of failure.
Intrigued by our exploration of perfectionism and its impact on suburban living? For an in-depth discussion on the origins of this complex issue, its far-reaching effects on our daily lives, and practical strategies to find that sweet spot between striving for improvement and accepting our imperfections, we invite you to tune in to this episode of the Suburban Burnout podcast. Join Megan and Laura as they unravel the mysteries of perfectionism and provide valuable insights for navigating this challenging aspect of modern life. Listen wherever you listen to your podcast. Icons linked below.
Comments